Party Time!
by SunshineStorm
Summary: Zelda has a dream that her enemies (wait, what enemies!) have a plan to destroy her. Her plan to keep this from happening? Trap everyone who might turn against her. How can she do this? The solution is simple: Throw a party!


_**Party Time!**_

**Disclaimer:** I just had fun twisting the characters to fit with this story, so I don't own anything. Well, actually, I did create Zelda's unnamed attendant, but that's it. And I claim the limes; I don't yet know what to do with them, but they are mine.

NOTE: This is just for fun, so please don't expect the characters to act like they would be expected to act.

I am not partial to any pairing; the pairings in this were randomly selected for random hilarity.

_Explanations_: I couldn't find a good place to include this so I'm explaining it here. Zelda has a new attendant that is in no way up to the standards of Impa. Impa retired to pursue her hobby. Zelda was upset at first but thought Impa deserved what she wanted. And Zelda had fun finding and training a new attendant.

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Invites

~~Hyrule Castle, Zelda's royal room~~

Zelda's eyes popped open. No, I mean they _really_ popped open. Seriously, it looked like she had bug eyes. But anyway, she sat up from the weird position she was lying in—sprawled across her whole bed with one leg behind her head—and waited for her vision to stop spinning.

When it finally stopped, Zelda took a swig of whatever liquid was in the cup on the small, round table next to her bed and squinted into the darkness trying to remember what had frightened her so badly. She shivered as she remembered. She'd seen an army of Poes and munchkins riding unicorns come at the castle from the direction of Gerudo Valley. They came from beyond the desert and there were so many of them that they covered Hyrule Field.

There was something else in the nightmare that scared her almost as much as the Poes and munchkins. It was that she recognized the people standing allied with her enemies. These people included Link and Navi, a few of the sages and some other people.

Zelda got out of bed, quite awkwardly, in fact, since both of her legs kept getting stuck in odd places. She finally managed and started to pace in circles around her round room.

If those people were traitors, she'd have to do something about them. But it was just a dream, so they weren't actually traitors, right? Well, not traitors YET. But they could turn on her…She had to do something. Hmmm, what to do? Maybe she could gather them all in one place and make sure they were still her friends. Zelda tripped on the rug in the center of her room, caught herself like a ninja, and kept pacing and thinking. How to keep them her friends? She could _keep_ _them all in one place_! If they were near her, Zelda would be able to tell if her friends started to feel bored from being on the side of what was right (in other words, her side). How could she get them all there, though? A party! She would throw a party, but her true intentions would be to get them all in Hyrule Castle Town and trap them there until she was sure they would always be loyal to her. _Always loyal._ She liked this idea. She could make it a real party, too, with games and stuff.

She got suddenly very excited. She ran at super speed to her attendant's room and woke him up by throwing a lime at him.

She didn't wait for him to wake up fully before giving him her orders, "Get me the royal invitations!"

"Yes, Your Highness. Would you like the ornate ones or the ones with the monkeys on them or the revenge ones?" the attendant rubbed his eyes sleepily, wishing his princess had waited until his soothing dream about bubble baths had finished.

"Oooh, the reven- No!" she threw another lime at her attendant (where was she getting these limes?), "Just the ornate! I want to invite people to a party not lure them to their deaths…for now…" Zelda mumbled the last two words under her breath.

Zelda turned to leave the duck-themed room, "And do something about the lime trees that keep popping up everywhere! I am sick of the green!"

Zelda's attendant stared after his charge in puzzlement as to the meaning of that last statement.

~~Kokiri Forest~~

Navi bolted up out of the pile of leaves that were in the middle of Link's house, holding two envelopes in her tiny hands. Recently the fairy liked being by herself in dark places. Last year's disastrous Christmas party had brought to her attention that she was not very well-liked. It wasn't so bad that Ruto had accidently put Navi on top of the tree because the fairy apparently looked like the angel used to top the tree; Navi understood that Ruto couldn't help that she had poor eye-sight. No, the bad part had been that every single person had cheered when she'd been put up there. Navi could hear them talking about how nice it was that she was stuck in the tree and unable to talk while she was up there. It had hurt Navi deeply and since that day, she'd come to hate high, exposed places.

But now, back to present day. It was lucky Navi had been hiding in the pile. Otherwise the green envelopes that easily blended with the leaves never would have been found. This was because recently Link only noticed anything to do with leaves. And the green envelopes didn't look enough like leaves to capture his notice.

Navi gave Link the one addressed to him. This is what it looked like:

Zelda loves you!

This invitation invites you to be in Hyrule Castle Town at XX:XX A.M. on XX/XX/XX.

Princess Zelda is hosting a party and invites you to be there especially! To truly make this experience exclusive, all people not invited will be in another part of Hyrule.

Please bring this invitation to the guards when you come.

Hoping to see you there,

Love you all,

XOXOXO,

Your Princess,

Zelda

He looked the paper over and decided to go because he wanted to visit the lime trees in the castle gardens.

Navi also decided to go because she figured that she would be able to hide in the lime trees in the castle gardens.

~~Temple of Time~~

Zelda slapped her hands down on the big table with a SMACK, disrupting the banter of the other sages. They all gave her their attention.

"I am hosting a party to be held in the castle town and I expect you all to come." Various protests arose from this cocky statement. Ruto and Impa were the only ones who immediately agreed to go.

"I have a poker game with some nice spirits planned," Rauru said.

"It's laundry day," announced Nabooru.

"I promised my son we'd go search for inter-dimensional vortexes," was Darunia's excuse.

Saria said nothing; she just stared at Zelda through narrowed eyes.

"There will be alcohol and a variety of nuts," Zelda informed the group. Everyone was enthusiastic about going to the party after that. They all liked the alcohol, except Saria. She just wanted the nuts.

Zelda stood smugly at the head of the table with her arms folded across her chest as she watched her fellow sages talk about booze.

~~Lon Lon Ranch~~

Malon's frustrated shriek was confined to the ranch, since the scars she had reminded her that her neighbors did not appreciate her constant shrieks and had been less than kind when they'd warned her for the 73rd time to keep her voice down.

Zelda's servants had just left with tons of milk and other supplies that were for the party. The servants were loud gossips and Malon easily heard them talking about Zelda's random scheme.

How dare Zelda not invite her! Malon believed she'd been so good to Zelda, but apparently Zelda didn't think so. Malon decided never to allow Zelda to use her as a human shield ever again.

She would definitely find a way to crash the party!

~~Kokiri Forest~~

The now black-haired Mido stared blankly at the ornate paper. He was trying to find out ways he could use it to end his life before the date on it.

He figured, if he gave himself a bad enough paper cut, he could bleed to death.

A picture of Zelda flashed into his head. Drool dripped down his chin. He would go if the bleeding to death by paper cut idea didn't pan out.

~~Gerudo Valley~~

Kae Gae twitched as he searched for his special treat, perched on a rock in the desert. His head moved oddly in a jerky manner as he looked around, but he didn't see what he wanted.

He took off. After a few minutes, he saw a caravan of wagons heading for the castle and followed it in the hopes he could find what he wanted.

~~Hyrule Castle~~

Zelda was on top of her tower, walking on the raised ledge that circled the tower. She really hated being up there. Yet, it was her favorite place to think. This probably had something to do with the roundness (it was just so round!) and how much she hated it, like the hate helped her think better or something. Ah, well, she'd contemplate that later. She wobbled, jumped up, did five flips and landed on one knee in the center of the tower.

She rubbed her hands together as she said, "Excellent! Everyone is expected to come. Attendant! Begin the preparations!"

Another reason Zelda actually sort of, kinda liked the tower was for the stair railing she'd had installed. She expertly slid down the spiral rail.

Then she ran off to her planning room where she had a long table set up and her plans spread across it.

She knew her preparations would rile up the guys in the dungeon, so she had an idea on how to keep them busy.

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_Note: _I hope you enjoyed this and I ask you to have patience and to help make my writing better so criticism, corrections, and comments are greatly appreciated.

Please review and let me know how this is and how you like it.

Thank you so much!


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